I’m a little bit crazy

You think it’s never going to happen to you.   People share their pregnancy stories  and you think, “That won’t happen to me.”  And then it does.

Last Monday was a day like any other day.  I got up at 5:30 am, worked all day, and got home at 5 for chores.  We got home late because Jake had to run an errand that I wasn’t particularly interested in running, so it make me a little cranky.  Then we got home and had piles of laundry and no food in the house, except my excessively large stash of sugar free pudding.  So I started the laundry and asked Jake to keep an eye on it while I went grocery shopping.  So far, so good.

I got home from the grocery store and put all the groceries away and realized I was cramping a bit just as the timer went off for the dryer.  Now, keep in mind we live in an apartment and the laundry room is a good jaunt from our place AND our laundry basket is cumbersome and heavy.  So I said to Jake, “Can you please go get the laundry, I’m just too tired and crampy.”  To which he replied, “No.”  This is a typical Jake answer to the laundry request. He hates laundry. But even though he says, “No” every time, he goes out and gets it for me, every time.   So I replied, “Baby, I’m cramping I can’t get it, please…”  We went back and forth a couple of times before he finally said, “Fine, but if I burn dinner it’s on you.”  Then he left.  Still, so far so good.  It’s what happened when he left that got things a little crazy.

He let the door slam.  It broke my heart.  I burst into tears.

I sat their unable to stop myself from crying. Then I was embarrassed and didn’t want him to see me crying like an insane person, so I went and hid in our closet, thinking, “He won’t come in here.”  Of course, he came back in the apartment, saw me missing and came looking.  When he found me in the closet he tried to come to me and hold me. He reached out to hug me and all I wanted was for him to hold me while I cried, so I said, “Leave me alone!”  Then I realized I was yelling at  him, so I shouted (as he fled) “It’s not your fault!”  Then I cried harder because he left and didn’t hold me.  Even though that’s what I asked him to do.

The more I tried to stop crying the harder I cried. My brain was saying, “You are out of your mind,” but I couldn’t stop.  So, I decided to let it flow.  I went out to fold the laundry and sat on the couch hiccuping and sucking in sobs like a 5 year old.  Jake came in from the patio where he was grilling and said, “Baby, what’s wrong.” Then I started crying again.  I could barely explain to him how it hurt my feelings that he slammed the door, and then he didn’t hold me when I told him to go away and I knew that I sounded like a crazy person but I couldn’t stop crying.

He just laughed, got down on his knees in front of me, reached out to hug me, and said, “…And then one time I threw fake vomit over the balcony at the theater and make the sound, ‘huah, huah’ then everyone started vomitting…” in a perfect likeness to Chunk from Goonies and it was adorable.  Only my goofy husband would think to quote a dorky 80′s movie to make me laugh when I couldn’t stop crying.

Then I cry/laughed while he hugged me and told me he loved my crazy moments because they provide him with so much amusement.

So, I guess I too am susceptible to the emotional roller coaster of baby hormones.  I’m just glad I have such a great hubby to hold me and make me laugh when I need it most.

amy

 

 

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