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The Strawberry Incident

May 25, 2010

Hey there all,

I named this post “The Strawberry Incident” because of an incident with, well, with strawberries.  But I’ll get to that later.

Today marks Week 1 on my journey to better health by way of the HCG diet and I have to say, it’s going very well. I’m going to do something that is very hard for me.. I’m going to post my weight…eek.  It’s just a number, but for so long that number has defined who I thought I was, and today it needs to become just another number.

Days 1 & 2

Last Tuesday and Wednesday were days 1 & 2; they’re considered “load” days, where you start the hcg but continue to eat normally, or rather, as much as you possibly can.  I tried to pig out, but I found it kind of hard. I’m not sure exactly why you start with piggy days, but I have some theories. I think it’s different with each person, but for me, I think once I had “permission” to gorge myself on any and everything I wanted, I kind of lost the desire.  Crazy, right?

Day 3 – starting weight – 282.8 lbs – the biggest I’ve ever been

Day 3 was Thursday of last week and it wasn’t as hard as I thought. I didn’t have crazy cravings, and I wasn’t super hungry. In fact, I haven’t been super hungry this whole time.

Day 4 – 278.6 lbs

Day 5 – 275.8 lbs

Day 6 – 274.4 lbs

Day 7 – 273.6 lbs

Day 8 – today – 272.6 lbs for a total weight loss of 10.2 lbs the first week!

Now, the first few days were a lot, but a lot of that is water weight, and it tapers off to about a pound a day. However, I’ve been advised that there will be days of no loss, then it catches up in 2 or 3 days. I’m glad to know that, because I’m the kind of person who would freak out over the “failure” of not losing a pound and go off the wagon!

On to the strawberries… the strawberry incident happened on Sunday, which would be Day 5. First, let me say, that there are a few character traits I carry that I try very hard to keep under control.  Only a few people have witnessed my “reaction” to when an inanimate object does not function correctly, ie.. the computer, the TV remote, my cell phone, etc.  This “reaction” is usually toward electronics that frustrate me and make me a little insane. However, it is not limited to electronics and can, on a rare day happen to say, I don’t know, strawberries.

All I wanted was to get my food and carry it to the car. That’s all I wanted. We had a BBQ planned for after church and I knew I was going to need my stuff all together.  An eye witness would tell you that I tried to carry too much at one time, and that I had things precariously balanced in one hand while trying to fish things out of the refrigerator. The eye witness would say the because I had so much in my hand, I knocked the ziplock bag of gorgeous, luscious, delicious strawberries onto the garage floor (the outside fridge is in the garage) and when they hit the floor, the ziplock burst and strawberries went everywhere.  This eye witness would be wrong.  All I wanted was to get my food and carry it to the car, and those stupid strawberries rolled, all on their own, out of the fridge onto the ground, ruining themselves and making themselves inedible.

Regardless of whose fault it was that the strawberries fell… it would be completely my fault what happened next.  Something inside me snapped. Maybe it was the fact that the strawberries were so gorgeous and my favorite fruit; maybe it was because the fridge was over crowded, which is always a little pet peeve of mine; maybe it’s because I no longer had high fructose corn syrup or partially hydrogenated soybean oil coursing through my veins so I was off balance because I’ve literally NEVER not had processed food in my system. Whatever the reason, I snapped. I started grabbing the rogue strawberries and hurling them into the trash cans screaming, “Stupid Strawberries! I hate this fridge!” And as I picked up the baggie to save the last 2 strawberries that had survived the fall, they fell out of an unseen hole that had been created in the bottom of the bag,which prompted another round of hurling and yelling.

Now, I don’t condone my behavior. It was completely wrong.  But there’s something really satisfying about hurling fruit.  After my little tirade, I turned to my husband, the “eye witness” and cried, “I need a cheeseburger” to which he replied, with a grin on his face, “No you don’t” and held me.

I love that my husband can comfort me and laugh at me at the same time.  He’s so great.  And apparently, as long as my tirades are at inanimate objects, he’s cool with me blowing off some steam once in a while.

Like I said, the diet has been super easy, and  I feel completely normal (minus the strawberry incident). I’ve also noticed I have a lot of energy.

Thanks in advance for not judging me with the strawberries.  One day you’ll lose it on a completely harmless TV remote, or unopened box of something wrapped way too tight, and you’ll think of me. 🙂

amy

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20 comments

  1. HA! My “incidents” usually occur when I open a cupboard and something flies out and hits me in the face!

    Best wishes and much love Amy!

    I will be praying over your journey!!

    ~Tina


  2. Oh my gosh….I am so proud of you for posting your weight. I, too am the heaviest I have ever been. I wish weight wasn’t such a struggle….I haven’t ever heard of the HCG diet??? You have the most beautiful voice!!


  3. First, let me say you have amazing talent. Second, I’m laughing outloud at the Strawberry Incident, only because I can relate. And last, I’m incredibly interested in this HCG diet…can you tell me more about it???


  4. Oh, we all have days like this. I’m really happy for your progress!


  5. I can so relate!!! Good for you. Keep going girl


  6. Amy, the strawberry incident would be so funny if you weren’t so mad. I suppose you can laugh now. I’m sure you can buy more. I enjoyed reading it. You are a gifted writer. Congrats on your first 10 pounds. That’s a milestone. Let’s you know that you can do it. As a “thick” person, myself, I can appreciate all the hard work. I’m on Nutrisystems, but it has taken me 3 weeks to lose 10 lbs. But then, I’m old and the metabolism is slowing down. Keep up the good work. I’ll be watching your progress. You go girl!


  7. Amy – congrats on 10+ lbs! Will pray for you!


  8. I have always known you could do anything you make up your mind to do….Love


  9. I’m “starting” WW again today for what seems like the millionth time. It’s hard to get back up again, again, and again. Seems like I keep failing and falling off and turning to food over and over. Looking to God to bring the victory as I seek to honor Him in the small everyday choices.


  10. Amy,
    I am so glad you started blogging again! I missed it! Please allow to share a fraction of what God has done here in my family.(I tend to ramble…sorry)
    I lived to eat. Oh how I loved food… I was raised with an attitude of eat when something happens! ANYTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY! As a reward, a coping skill, comfort in food was my life, but it was deception at its fullest. I allowed satan to keep literally feeding me his lies and shameful accusations and applied them to my life w/out realizing how to get out of the cycle I was lost in. 7 years I have been growing in Christ. In that time His Word revealed TRUTH to expose all of the self harming habits I had taken on as a result of my past. I ate because I was ashamed of myself.
    I have been abused, in one way or another since I was 4yrs old. And as a result of the pain, I hid inside and didn’t know how to release or communicate it, I held it inside my body. All that manifested itself as severe physical pain. I was physically handicapped, and emotionally crushed by bi polar. Finally though with my obedience to HIS WORD and the repentance of sin, and having a REAL personal, almost uncomfortable close relationship with Jesus; God gave me the revelation of those habits and guided me to books, seminars, and a ministry that will help me learn to live in a more healthy and fulfilling way. I have been healed of being an emotional eater, but ONLY when I am obedient to His Word. I can fall back into it quickly and subtly and hardly realize it. But it gets easier and with time to recognize it. That happens to be Gods way of keeping me accountable I guess. ( I NEED ACCOUNTABILITY!) I have lost several pounds since this miracle happened, and am now in the process of allowing God into some more hidden rooms in my heart so He can clean that up to. ITS SCARY to trust him with this much…but then again that is one of my issues giving up the (illusion of) being in control.
    I have been praying individually for each person represented by their comments here on your blog. Praying for freedom from the bondage satan has on ALL of us. If you follow my tweets or FB you know I have been healed of my pain issues in my back through this process and Im starting to learn healthy boundaries too. Because you shared your weight I feel comfy sharing mine. Not even 6 months ago I was a few lbs shy of 300. Today I weigh 270! My goal is to teeter as close to 200 as possible. But my short term goal is 250 by the new year. I am so excited to be on this journey with you & all the others. I truly feel connected, and that was another void I was trying to fill inappropriately. Thanks for being as transparent as you have been, its hard to put yourself out there…U R a very special sister in Christ to me and I love you.
    Jo


  11. It’s time for the desert warriors to go through the battle. It’s time for the white warriors to arise. It’s time for the mighty men of this season to come forth in the power of the Most High. It’s time to run to the battle and defeat the enemy at the gate. No longer establish yourself in a position of defeat, but dream the dreams of victory. Run the race until it is fulfilled. Receive the armor that I will give you; rise up until you indeed become the lions of the Most High and understand who you are in Christ. You are more than a conqueror, and I will cause you to always triumph in the war that you are involved in. Choose to take the trail of victory that I have provided for you and do not stop on the way. Do not allow the enemy to deter you nor allow the voice of condemnation to affect you, but rather receive the enlightenment of that which I have spoken to you, says the Lord.

    Whats a comment with out scripture, right? This was sposed to be in my last comment but got deleted somehow. Jo Lewis


  12. Hi. I found your blog through Angie’s. How funny I was led to your site as I have been contemplating the HCG diet and have until 5/31 to make my final decision.
    I am hoping you can answer some questions.
    *How does the spray taste?
    *Do you follow the 500-800 calorie diet or can you modify it?
    *How long are you allowed to do the spray for? Is 6 weeks the norm or do you just keep doing it until you get where you want? The plan here is for a 50 days supply. I’m thinking about doing the 50 days and hopefully lose at least 22 lbs to get me at 199. Then I will start weight watchers again and continue from there.
    Congratulations on your 10 pounds so far.


  13. Amy,
    I could have written this post. In reading your every written word, I saw myself doing that exact same thing, in that exact same way, at exactly those same objects.
    Kudos to your husband for allowing you to have your minute meltdown then supporting you as you got yourself back together. With that kind of love and support, your going to make it.
    Congrats on the 10lbs. You can do all things through Christ, who strengthens you.


  14. Amy,
    Let me start by telling you what an inspiration you are. You have been so transparent on this blog and I am sure God will use your vulnerability and openness to bless many women. It is so hard to be a woman in America. Biblical womanhood is under constant attack and we are taught at such a young age what a beautiful, desirable woman looks like, yet so few of us measure up to the standards set by our culture. This has created problems that range from low self-esteem to various eating disorders.

    I began to show signs of an eating disorder as an 11 year old and was enveloped by the disorder by age 16 and have struggled with it off and on for over ten years. I have been where you are with the thoughts of inadequacy you have shared in previous posts. It is ugly…struggling with our image and weighing it against others is ugly and sinful and we will never measure up unless we start looking at what God says about the issue. It is imperative that we switch our focus from how the world views women to how God views women and all His children for that matter. We are created in His image and He delights in us no matter what our size. I pray you can see yourself through God’s eyes as you journey towards total wellness. You are prayed for and I am rejoicing with you in your victories.


  15. Hi,

    I just brought your album “You Deliver Me” after hearing your story on Family Life this week! I had to buy this album for “I will carry you (Audrey’s Song). Thank you so much for this song, and your story it has brought tears to my eyes still after playing the album multiple times.

    I saw the album cover, and my thoughts were of you and your health. I was diagnose with type 2 diabetes in Sept 2009, and it changed my lifestyle involving food. I am also working on loosing weight, I started loosing weight in January 2009 when I weighed 319 lbs. When I was diagnose I was down to 289. I am currently around 255 lbs and working on loosing it faster now that I am able too. My goal is to get down to 160 lbs and too keep it off with God’s help.

    When I saw the album cover, God impressed upon me, that I needed to asked that you contact your doctor and get tested for Diabetes.

    I realize, how tough this decision is, I knew I needed to loose weigh but did not know I had Diabetes. When my doctor told me, I had Diabetes, I went into shock for about a week, and then with God’s support, I am in the process of reversing it. Currently only God can cure this dreaded disease, but with his support, I am keeping it under control.

    I was so happy to see that you have started a diet and that its working for you. Keep it up. I also suggest taking walks to help build stamina, and loose weight instead of just the “diet”. You are doing great! I am intentionally not trying to loose the weight fast, since I have did that before, and gained it all back and more. Don’t be discourage with the weight gain/loss on a daily basis. Just keep working on it. I will be praying for you, your family and the people who posted here.


  16. Hey Amy,

    First of all I want you guys to know that I absolutely love your music. You and I have a few things in common. Like you I sing in a group that consists of my brother, my wife, and my sister-in-law and I too struggle with my weight. I am amazed that you had the courage to post your weight on-line and be so open and helpful to all of us. PLEASE I PRAY THAT YOU WILL DO SOMETHING FOR ME. PLEASE CHECK OUT THE PROGRAM CALLED “WEIGHDOWN” BY GWEN SHAMBLIN. This program has absolutely changed my life in multiple ways and it deals with the real reason most of us are overweight: A LOVE, PASSION, OR ADDICTION FOR FOOD OR OVERINDULGENCE. WE RUN TO A FALSE GOD CALLED FOOD INSTEAD OF GOING TO THE REAL GOD JESUS CHRIST. INSTEAD OF GOING TO FOOD TO FILL THE VOIDS OF YOUR LIFE, GO TO JESUS CHRIST. LEARN TO IDENTIFY TRUE HUNGER OR STOMACH HUNGER AND ONLY EAT WHEN YOU HAVE TRUE HUNGER AND NOT HEAD HUNGER. WHEN YOU HAVE TRUE STOMACH HUNGER EAT UNTIL YOU’RE COMFORTABLY FULL AND THEN DON’T EAT AGAIN UNTIL YOU ARE TRULY HUNGRY AGAIN. THE LESS YOU EAT EACH TIME, THE SOONER YOU’LL BE HUNGRY AGAIN. BASICALLY, YOU WILL BE USING FOOD AS A FUEL AND NOT A WAY TO FILL A VOID. ANYWAY JUST AT LEAST CONSIDER READING THE FIRST CHAPTER OF GWEN SHAMBLINS FIRST BOOK CALLED “WEIGHDOWN”. I GUARANTEE YOU’LL LOVE THE PROGRAM. I HAVE LEARNED TO CAST A LOT MORE CARES ON GOD THAN I USED TO. I TAKE THE LITTLEST PROBLEMS TO HIM NOW. THEY MIGHT BE LITTLE TO US BUT THEIR VERY IMPORTANT TO HIM. ANYTIME YOU’RE WORRIED, HURT, UPSET, ANXIOUS, BORED ETC, TRY GOING TO GOD INSTEAD OF FOOD. THE MORE YOU RESIST TEMPTATION WITH HIS HELP, THE CLOSER YOU’LL BE TO HIM. I STILL HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO MYSELF BUT I LOVE HOW HE CARES ABOUT EVERYTHING IN OUR LIFE. LOVE YOU GUYS, JONATHAN ASHLOCK


  17. Amy, kudos to you for your transparency and honesty. I wish you great success and joy in the process of your weight loss. I too have struggled with weight for some years, and need to lose some as well.. You are an inspiration to many, so keep it up. Remember, you WILL have setbacks, but failures are an event, not an individual. Keep going!!!

    Blessing and Joy to you and your man as you take this journey together.
    In Christ,
    Jeff Troyer

    PS.. pity about the berries.. My favorite too!!


  18. I am liking your blog. I have more of a problem with “strawberry incidents” than with my weight, but I’m working on it! 🙂
    I also want to say that I love Selah’s music. My current favourite song is Glory; I just bought the sheet music from Musicnotes.com. I Will Carry You is really beautiful too.


  19. Hysterical! I was smiling the whole time I read about your “incident”. I think we all have moments like that and I love looking back at them and getting a good chuckle! By the way, way to go on the weight loss journey. I have been on that journey myself and still am. Maybe I need to get inspired by your blog…I don’t think I’ve ever read a blog before yours. But I somehow got here after looking into cruises for my hubby and I (Love Like You Mean It-Feb 2011)…so maybe this was a sign for me to get it together and start working on shedding a few (or more). wink wink. 🙂 Thank you Amy for opening yourself up, I’m sure it wasn’t easy.


  20. I’m so very excited I got to stand beside you in the very hot sun before you took off today from Omaha, and have a picture taken with you – it’s on my facebook page… We look fabulous! You are so amazing!! Love you, love your voice, love Salah! What an amazing gift you gave us today by surprising us. LOVED, LOVED, LOVED IT!!!! You 3 have the perfect combination of sound that reaches inside my soul and dwells there for days, which made me buy all of your cds and quite a few accompaniment cds that I’ve made my brother sing with me – weather he wants to or not 🙂 Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for sharing the gift that God has given you. You’re amazing, and I could totally relate to EVERYTHING you said today at Women of Faith in Omaha. Thank you so very much!



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