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Mmmm…. donuts….

July 16, 2010

Hey all,

This week was VBS at our church and I have to be honest, I’m wiped!  I’ve worked every day and gone straight to church after.  I’m crashing around 9:30 each night and still am tired in the morning.

Something interesting happened this week.  I was working in the storage unit for my job in 87 degree weather, and it was not going well.  Several things hindered me from completing my job, which means I have to go on Monday and spend more time in dusty, bug infested storage; I was not happy.  So, I picked Jake up around 1pm because he was going home from work early and we only have one car. By the time I picked him up I was pretty irritated, tired and starving; this is usually a bad combination for Amy.

When I got back to work I went into the kitchen to get my grilled chicken and lettuce and what did I see in an open box on the counter? Yeah, you guessed it; donuts. Beautiful, glazed, sugary donuts.  Now, the “previous” Amy would have dug right in.  It was the perfect storm of hungry, tired, and stressed, and I would have absolutely convinced myself that I deserved the donut, or 3…

As I stood there looking at the donuts I realized something; I didn’t want one.

For the first time I was in a typical stress eating situation, with the comfort food laid out before me, and I didn’t want to eat.  HUGE moment for me.  Of course, I still barked out, “Who leaves open donuts on the counter willy nilly? Are you trying to kill me?!”  But I do that any time there’s food out because literally every day someone in my office leaves something horrible (and when I say horrible, I mean yummy, delicious and fattening) on the kitchen counter, open for all the world to partake.

You know what’s funny?  I didn’t even recognize that huge moment when it happened.  I just looked at the donuts and thought, “Eh, no thanks,” and moved on.  I didn’t realize it until the next day when my scale betrayed me, and I was feeling so discouraged that all the hard work I’ve been putting in wasn’t showing up on my scale the way I’d hoped.  I was so bummed all the way to work.  Jake kept trying to encourage me, but I just wanted to scream at him that he couldn’t possibly understand what it’s like to work and work and then the scale says you’ve gained.  I felt like giving up.  I felt like if I had known I was going to gain, or not lose, I might as well have had the stupid donut.

I felt like a failure.

As I got to work alone, crying, the Holy Spirit showed me something. He showed me the donut.  And He reminded me that even right then, I didn’t really want a donut.  Even when I felt like a failure, or when I was frustrated, stressed out and exhausted, I didn’t want to make myself feel better with food.  And the fact that I sat there talking to Him instead of driving straight to the pastry shop meant something.

This journey has not been easy but it’s been worth it. I was telling Jake about my little breakthrough and how it’s so hard when I look at the scale and it’s moving so slowly.  But if I look at the big picture, I’ve lost 42 pounds! So what if I’ve had a few slow days? I’ve lost 42 pounds!  I told Jake that sometimes it’s so much easier for me to see what’s not happening on the scale, then to recognize what is  and he said something really cool.  He said that that’s how a lot of us treat God. We’re so busy looking at what He’s not doing for us; dwelling on what He’s not given us, that we fail to recognize all that He’s done in our lives.  PREACH Youth Pastor Jake! Man, that puts things in perspective really quick.

Thank you God for all You’ve done in my life! Thank You for this journey that is not only transforming me, but is helping others in their journey.  Thank you for Cyndi and her amazing guidance! Thank you for Jake and his loving rebukes and unending encouragement! Thank you God for 42 pounds and counting!!

And thank You for donuts, because when the time is right, I just might have one, and that will be okay.

Amy

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9 comments

  1. SO excited for you! Congrats on the continued success!
    I started HCG today after a lot of praying and talking.
    So exciting to read what you just said because it has been one of my fears (being an emotional/stress eater).

    Yay Amy! :O)

    -Gina


  2. I was tempted to stress eat a couple of times with week as I have been dealing with some major stuff as of late (lack of job, not getting any calls for interviews, not knowing how everything is going to get paid including rent, and hopefully not being homeless, jobless and catless). I made a better decision the times I was tempted – I had grapes and vitamin water instead. I know that I can do it – just rely on God instead of eating something not good for me to make me feel better.

    Proud of you Amy! When things get more settled for me in my life I am considering the HCG diet.


  3. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Candace Cameron Bure, amynperry. amynperry said: New blog post. I've lost 42 lbs so far!! https://selahinhisimage.wordpress.com/2010/07/16/mmmm-donuts/ […]


  4. Congrats! I am too working on my weight. I am a major stress eater. My husband and I were in the process of adopting a baby girl. For 3 months I ATE and hardly worked out. Mid June we found out that we were no longer going to get the baby. I can say for the first time I was able to not eat at all. I instead worked out like a mad woman! I figured that was a huge accomplishment. I was able to pray and work through many feelings without food. I dont think I have ever done that


  5. Hi Amy, I found you through a tweet today. I have been looking at your diet info and am interested. Would you mind sharing how you are taking your hcg. Are you using drops or pills? Just curious. I have about 60lbs to shed. Thanks and blessings!


  6. Congrats on your loss so far! I thought that you were supposed to stop after 43 days and then rest for 6 weeks total? You are one brave woman for doing it that long. We started(loading) on July 3rd and as of today I have lost 11.6 lbs…im happy.


  7. Hi, Amy. I am so proud of you! As I look at my life through the lens of what seems like a life-long struggle with my weight, I too get frustrated and discouraged when the scale does not move in the right direction! I’m using Weight Watchers this time (just shy of 20 lb weight loss so far and about 40 more to go), and this week’s focus was “non-scale victories.” Do you know what mine was? I walked past open boxes of doughnuts three times the week before! I am right there with ya, sister! Isn’t that amazing when we stop to recognize the milestones we achieve through God’s grace?!

    Congrats on your weightloss thus far. I will pray for you, and your continued journey to healthier living. Also, thank you for sharing your gift of song. I so enjoy listening to Selah.

    Truly,
    Amy C.


  8. My friend forwarded me this site as a source of encouragement, and it’s taken me several days to look it up. But she is right. Thank you for your honest articulation of what God is doing in your life. Reminds me of the verse that speaks about everything done in secret will come into the light, and how beneficial it is when we simply walk in the light in the first place. My prayers and wishes for your continued success in weight loss and my gratitude for your courage to share it!


  9. Good for you Amy. I don’t know much about the hcg diet but I’m glad it’s working for you. Emotional eating is a tough one to conquer, but recognizing the emotion before the donut goes in the mouth is a huge step.

    If you exercise on a machine, the calorie burner counter is astounding. When I realize how much work it is to burn 200 calories, a candy bar or can of pop doesn’t look so attractive.

    Keep it up. You’re doing awesome!



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