September 6, 2012

I know it’s been a while.  Sometimes I feel like I need to say a lot, and I don’t have time to just sit and write so I postpone it until it’s been several months.  Even today, I don’t really have time but I’m gonna make time for just a little post.
I went back on the protocol at the end of April, and man, is it hard. It’s totally different this time. My body is different. It’s very weird.  Finally in August I just had to take the month off because my travel was so crazy and I was yo-yo-ing like crazy; lose 5 pounds, go out of town and gain 2 back.
But I’m off the break now. One week in and I’m down like 5… I haven’t been adding up each day.  I just write down the new number and move on so it could be more.

I just want to share one thing: I thought I had grown past the place where I cried when clothes don’t fit, after all, I just had a baby.  And I found myself shopping a couple weeks ago and so discouraged.  Nothing fit! My body has changed so much.  I’ve always hated shopping, and each store I went to just got worse.  So I found myself in H&M and was really feeling like garbage and my husband called.  I was keeping it together until I heard his voice and right there in the middle of the store I started crying.  It was crazy.  I boo-hooed for a minute about how nothing fits and L doesn’t really mean Large and how I need to look cute at the Women of Faith events because all the other speakers are so beautiful and dress so great.  Then he responded with the sweetest encouragement. He told me that I’m beautiful, and I don’t have to look like anyone on that stage; God made me the way I am.  I already know all that in my head, but hearing it from him made all the difference.  Sometimes I just need my hubby to tell me I’m pretty.

Then I bought 5 shirts, because at H&M, L really does mean Large!
Anyways, I’ll try to post more often.

He’s 7 months old today! He’s getting so big!!




  1. He is so cute Amy. I know how it is with weight. I have been there and I have lost 32 pounds, but I need to lose more. I will be praying for you.

  2. Amy, you are beautiful. The light of Christ shines through you! I watched you on stage a few weeks ago in Spokane and you were the most beautiful one there! Keep on your weight loss journey and remember that with God, all things are possible. I recently lost 100 lbs and I still look in the mirror and cry…that’s not a weight thing… it’s a woman thing 🙂

  3. Hi Amy,,,,, once again I know exactely how you feel…… having lost 107 pounds before having 2 children this time round it has been far far harder, and even now I’m only 19 pounds from goal again… everything fits differently – our bodies do change to accommodate our beautiful kids… just take it a day at a time (that’s what I’m doing) and remember YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL because GOD MADE YOU THAT WAY!!!

  4. Amy- Just saw you in Fort Wayne! I just wanted to say YOU GO GIRL!! You are now in my prayers and on my heart. I was absolutely floored by your openness Saturday night- and totally jealous because I am still such a closed book when it comes to talking about my weight. LOVE YOU and your brave heart!

    ps. Your little dude is such a stud! Glad you are loving mommy hood! I’ve got a little chica just a few months older than him and I agree that it is too fun!

  5. beauty is being real. being honest. being vulnerable. loving your family. loving God. those things are beautiful….and therefore so are YOU!

    ** saw Selah in July at Tuscarora Inn…..such a blessing you all are to me.

  6. Your son is a cutie, for sure. Amy, thanks you for being such an inspiration to us women who struggle with weight issues. I just wanted to say that I think you are a beautiful person, inside and out. God has given you such a wonderful gift of music, not only in your voice but in your heart as well. I heard you speak once that when you were in high school people would say how “you were so pretty if you would only lost some weight” . That is such a ignorant statement, people can gain weight and lose weight-but you should be proud that you are beautiful either way.

  7. Amy,
    I heard you speak at the Women of Faith event in Anaheim this weekend and I cried because what you shared reflected so much of what I have heard all my life about having a pretty face and If you would just lose weight, You would be so pretty. I think you are beautifual and your spirit is beautiful. Thank You for sharing from your heart. I am 42 and although I was never able to have children, I know that He has a plan for each one of us that is to prosper us, not to harm us. May you be strengthened and encouraged by the Lord as you encourage many people with your message and your music. Blessings and Love, Michelle

  8. Amy, I heard you speak at the Women of Faith in Anaheim, CA this weekend. Thank you for sharing about your weight. Since I have been heave most of my life I,too heard those comments. Your face is so pretty, and you’d be so pretty if you’d just lose weight. Thank you for taking the risk to share this. I cried and it made me feela s though I wasn’t so alone in this battle. Our beauty comes from within from Christ’s Love and you are gorgeous within as you share your beautiful music and your story and you are beautiful on the outside. As you encourage others, I hope that you are encouraged by His promises in Jeremiah 29:11. I hope you are blessed and that your beautiful baby helps you to remember His love for His children is even greater than your love for Josiah. I am 42 qnd was not blessed with children, so I hope Josiah will know the beautiful Mama he has and the gift of being raised to know Jesus. Many blessings and love,

  9. Amy — your comments at the Dallas WOF Conference were inspiring. Thank you for your honesty and bravery. I admire you more than I can express in this “Leave a Reply” box. Stay strong and know that you are not in this alone.

    • Amy, I know you wrote this post a bazillion days ago, but I stumbled upon it. Struggle is hard. I know you know that you’re not alone. But, sometimes even though we KNOW others are going through struggles, even the SAME struggles..it feels so…yucky and alone. I feel that way sometime too. I’m actually feeling that way right now…I doubt myself a lot and after a while it just feels very numb. BUT. I know the power of God, and His Word. If He says that we are to be happy when we struggle, for God will make us strong and be glorified, then alrighty-then. We have to keep on pushing through honey. I’m praying today that you keep pushing.
      p.s.. I have 4 kids, and having kids DOES change your body, but it will get better. Give it all time. Obvi God wants to take His time with you on this…make you remember Who is really in control-and that you want things for the right reasons! He’s faithful though!
      Take care Pretty Lady…

  10. Hey Amy – Got to see you in Canton, OH last week and you looked and sounded great. I love your voice, it was amazing. Many thanks.

  11. Hello Amy, My name is Johanna, and I was fortunate to hear you and the Selah group at WOF this weekend in Portland. You certainly gave me a good chuckle when you shared the stories you did, and made yourself transparent. Please don’t live at the address of defeat, or discouragement. Continue to use the word to build yourself up, speaking out loud so you can hear those positive words. Be patient and set small goals, one foot in front of the other, one day at a time. L stands for other words “Leaning……….on the ever lasting arms”, “Lint………in your dryer or your belly button”, “Attitude with an L in front of it”, “Lord over all”, “Lemonade………when life gives you lemons”,”Lioness….a hunter”, anyway, just trying to return the giggle or two you gave me. Thanks for being you. I’ll put your name on a little sticky note to remind me to pray for my sweet sister.

  12. Amy, I wanted to tell you this in person, but the WoF ladies tell me that the line is full. So I’m standing just around the corner from you typing this on my phone, lol. I just had my first baby about 4 months ago, and he is the most adorable, smartest kid ever. I also have struggled with my weight all my life and have cried in many dressing rooms, knowing but not believing the truth about beauty. This weekend God has been opening my eyes to these buried hurts and my addiction to others’ appearances. I have so much makeup and clothes with the tags still on them because I “will” wear them “someday.” I just want you to know that you have encouraged me to be ME because you have been YOU. Thank you. P.s.: love the stories! Too funny!

  13. Amy-
    I heard you at Women of Faith in St. Paul and found your blog. Thank you for sharing your heart and your struggles. Weight loss is so very difficult. I have been struggling my whole life with it. At 33 my husband and I are trying to get pregnant and I know I need to be at a healthier weight for me and for a baby and to serve God in the best way I can here on earth as the healthiest me I can be. In the fall of 2009 I was at my highest weight – 312#! It was sad and scary and I hated that I had gotten so out of control. I could go on and on about my journey but my lowest weight was this spring at 242#. I lost 70 pounds but over the summer I have slipped up and I have gained a lot of it back. I am back on track but at my most recent highest I was 299. I can’t tell you how heartbreaking and depressing that number was. I am back on track since Labor day weekend I have lost 17 pounds. This struggle and journey is so difficult with so many ups and downs. At my most recent weigh in, my husband was so very encouraging and proud of me but to see myself back in the 280s is even so very sad and I mentioned to him that I won’t be happy until I get back to closer to the 240s.
    At Women of Faith I felt so very encouraged that God loves me no matter what weight I am; no matter where I came from and no matter where I am at in this journey. I am so very blessed to have a husband who loves me no matter what I weigh and he shows and tells me every day how God sees me, as a beautiful woman. To hear you share your heart and your journey was so very encouraging. To have read your story and your amazing success and to see your beautiful healthy baby is also so encouraging. You are an amazing inspiration and an amazing person. God shines through you and he has blessed you with an amazing gift to sing – and I actually mean “sing!!!”. Wow sister. God bless you on your life journey!

    Melinda, Brooklyn Park, MN

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