The Nerdling

July 15, 2011

Hey all!  I’m just going to be real with you, so far pregnancy kind of sucks.  I’m exhausted, cranky, nauseated – all the time, and chubby.  But yesterday made it all worth it.

Jake and I had our first appointment.  I’m measuring at 10 weeks today with a due date of Valentines Day 2012!!  Jake took a video of the ultrasound, but my blog won’t let me post it and I’m not computer savvy enough to figure it out. But here’s a pic of the little one.

The video is much better.  He/She was wiggling all over; it was sooooo cute but impossible to get a clear picture.  The doctor showed us the yolk sack, the head, the hands and the little butt.  He/she was mooning us!

As for me, she said she’s not concerned about my diet because, obviously, I know how to eat healthy.  I told her I’ve been a little carb heavy lately and she said that’s normal.  She said I won’t need them as much after my first trimester. She also said that based on my BMI, she wanted me to gain between 11-20 lbs in my second and third trimesters – total.  So of course, I called Cyndi right away to talk about food.  We discussed food plans for 2nd and 3rd trimester and I’m feeling good about it.

I’ve had a lot of nausea, but I’ve only puked a few times.  Foods not on the menu anymore due to puking:  Tuna, peanut butter, Jamba juice smoothies.  These are 3 of my favorite things, but for some reason they jack me up!

Well that’s all today.  I leave for New Hampshire this afternoon.  Please pray for me.  Last weekend I was in Minnesota and my early morning flight home was a nightmare.  I already get airsick on early flights, so that combined with hormones was awful.  I was wandering around Salt Lake City airport trying to find a place to  puke…  So please, pray for healthy flying!



Exciting News

June 20, 2011

Wow, I didn’t realize how long it’s been since I blogged.  I got a little side tracked…

If you don’t have Facebook or Twitter, this will be news to you.. I’m pregnant!! Yay!  My husband, Jake and I didn’t tell very many people but we’ve been trying since November to start our family.  It’s funny, I told Cyndi when we made the decision so she could guide me through what to do with the diet when I got pregnant; of course, I thought it would happen immediately, so in my head I was thinking that by January I would be off the protocol and preparing to have a baby.

Well January went by, then February, then March and I was getting so discouraged. Everyone tells you that it can take a while, but you don’t really believe them.  Then I came to a realization in April. I told Cyndi one day when we were chatting about why I was having such a hard time sticking to the protocol, that I wanted a baby more than I wanted the last 20 pounds.  And once I said it out loud it was like a light bulb went off in my head.  I had been focused on my goal. I had been dedicated to my goal. But in November my thinking shifted to a different goal and I didn’t realize it. So while I was eating protocol and struggling with all the food stuff on tour, my 100 pounds wasn’t my goal any more.  That’s when Cyndi took me off the diet for a while so I could take a break and regain my focus.  Then I got pregnant!

I will admit, these last 2 weeks have been a little carbalicious.  But I’m realizing if I want the healthy pregnancy that I spent the last year preparing my body for, then I need to say NO sometimes.

Cyndi said something to me the other day that really stuck with me. She said that the baby takes all the good nutrients that I’m eating so if I eat garbage, the baby will take the best of what it can from that, leaving what behind for me?  So I’ve really been thinking about that when I eat.  If I eat this pizza, what good nutrients am I giving the baby, if any, and is there going to be any left over for me?  Well, in San Francisco the other day we really had no choice for lunch, it was crazy, we were trying to catch a bus and running all around and I had some pizza, but I felt so bad about the “bad nutrients” so I ate a banana. I know they’re starchy, but fruit is better than some things!! I’m basically trying to eat the reset but sometimes the carbs get the better of me. What is it about bread that’s so alluring?

I’ve not had any weird cravings yet, but I’ve noticed that food just tastes so much better. Like lemon yogurt.. and cherries..mmm..  And luckily no morning sickness.  I’m nauseated a lot, but a few saltines and some water usually do the trick.

I promise to not forget about the blog. I’m still on this journey, I don’t want to gain 50 pounds and have to start all over!!

In case you haven’t seen, this is how we announced it…

***apparently I don’t know how to link.. anyways, you can go on my hubby’s facebook to see. Just look for Jake Perry***




Kelly Nokleby.. What an Inspiration!!

May 25, 2011

There is a sweet lady I’ve been chatting with online and she has been such an encouragement to the Grace and Strength-ers out there and I just wanted to share her story so I asked her to guest blog today.

“Grace & Strength: the name says it all!  It is ONLY through His Grace & Strength that I have been able to get to Phase 4 (the rest of my life) of this program.  I have struggled with my weight for over 30 years; at age 19 I had gastric bypass surgery.  I did lose weight and was thin after my surgery, BUT it did not stay that way.  Over time, the weight crept back and I ended up being as heavy as I was when I had that surgery 25 years ago.

I came upon the Grace & Strength program accidently (although now I know that I was lead here).  I was searching the internet to see if Selah would be performing near me when I stumbled on Amy Perry’s blog – I thank the Lord every day for Amy’s honesty in her blog.  Amy’s blog prompted me to call Cyndi.  After speaking with Cyndi, I decided I needed to try this program.  That phone call was in August of 2010 – I began my journey on September 1, 2010.  With the help of Cyndi and my awesome coach, Brenda I began this journey of self discovery and healing.  I learned some things about myself that I needed to in order to heal and be ready to live as a thin person!  This journey has been awesome; not in the way that most of us think when the word awesome is used to describe something.  I mean awesome as in I am in constant awe at the healing and growing that has occurred in my life.  Anyone can lose weight (I proved it over & over again); the journey is in freeing yourself from whatever bonds are holding you down.

I thank Cyndi, Brenda and all of the others that have helped me begin this journey; you have helped me to break the chains of bondage and helped me to prepare to live thin, healthy & happy in His Grace & Strength.”

What a gorgeous lady!! This is so inspiring.  If Kelly can do it, so can I–and so can you!!!

Thank you so much Kelly for sharing your story.  I can’t wait to meet you in July when we are in MN.



Back on Track

May 23, 2011

Wow, it’s been a whole year since I started this journey. I can’t believe it. When I was first thinking about the diet, Jake said, “You can do anything for 3 months…” Little did I know that I needed much longer to get through all the junk and pounds!

I went back and read some of my original posts to remind myself why I started this journey and realized that I never posted a before picture… well, here you go… here’s a  picture where I was singing and clearly not aware that my husband was taking pictures of me with weird expressions on my face. This was one night when Selah was on tour with Avalon. So, 282 pounds..

Well, I had my friend at work take one of me today, and of course, I’m looking at it thinking, I’m still huge! But I know there’s been change and I need to accept that my body is the way it is. I’m never going to be 100 pounds, and to be perfectly honest, I think I would look gross that tiny.

So, side by side…**ok so I suck at putting pics up and they weren’t side by side, so maybe they’ll be at the bottom of the post?  Here’s my 3rd try at the pics…**

Man I don’t like looking at pictures of me…but there it is. Change.

Well, I’ve gained some weight on my spring break because I kind of just didn’t try, to be honest. I ate what I wanted, and now I’m having to deal with that… but I went back on the protocol last week and am down 8 pounds and making my way back to 200. The good news is, I’m home for like 5 weeks so I can focus and not have late night bus food or airport munchies…

I also had some amazing experiences on the road, a lot that I can’t quite put into words yet.  I’ll blog about them soon.

Write to you soon



Spring Break

April 27, 2011

In high school I never took Spring Break very seriously. I never got together with other kids in my class and took a special Spring Break trip. I went to Junior College, so I didn’t get to experience it then, either. And what’s funny is, I don’t even care. Some days I’d rather curl up on my couch with a good book and never see the sun. Anyways, I was just thinking about that because a bunch of my youth kids are on spring break. Random.

I’m on a sort of break myself right now. I’m resetting for a whole month. Yikes!

Getting to spend time with Cyndi at Women of Faith was so amazing, and we discussed my journey a lot and decided that I’ve never really had a long break. I’ve had small ones, and on them I’ve completely derailed, but I’ve never done a solid reset. My body is crying out for a break. I’ve been on this diet so long, sometimes I feel like it’s never going to end.

So I’m on my spring break.

I come back from tour right after Mother’s Day, so that’s when I’ll get back on track. And I am so ready!

For those of you who were interested in seeing the video from the seminar Cyndi did last week, it’s coming. Jake is working on it but he hasn’t had much time and he wants Cyndi to approve it and she’s been traveling. But as soon as it’s ready I’ll post it. I have to tell you, I was so inspired. I have 2 friends from church on the program right now and it’s so amazing to see what God is doing in their lives. Julie and Nelly, you truly have inspired me. After hearing your testimonies, I wanted to jump back on the drops right then. I love seeing the change in you physically and spiritually. God is doing great things in you and I know that this is only the beginning.

I may not blog very much over the next 2 weeks because I’ll be on tour, then I’ll be spending a couple of days in Nebraska with my brother and his awesome family, so I’m looking forward to taking it easy and being Auntie for a few days.

I do want to ask, though, if you have a prayer request or are struggling with some diet stuff and you want to post a comment letting us know how we can pray for you, I’d love it if you would. I may not be communicating with the blog for a couple weeks, but I can definitely pray for some folks!!




April 18, 2011

I know it’s been a while since I blogged, and now I have way too much to say to put into just one. So I’ll say what’s on my mind most right now.

There aren’t words to describe how my last weekend went. On April 8 & 9th Selah got to be a part of our first Women of Faith event as artists. We got to experience some pretty amazing stuff and I left there feeling so encouraged, so renewed and so incredibly humbled. I just want to share a few of my favorite moments with you…

Patsy Clairmont
What an amazing woman. She is so funny and so real. I was so blessed by her testimony of how she went through her son’s illness and near death. She is such a blessing, and what a spitfire!

Gorgeous! I listen to that girl sing all day. She really is so special to watch.

Women of Faith praise team
I love to hear ladies worship, and those girls were awesome! Btw, I’m obsessed with Rejoice, their worship cd. If you don’t have it, you need to get it.

Sandi Patty
What a beautiful woman of God. I don’t know what I thought I would expect, but nothing could have prepared me for the vulnerability, honesty and crazy talent that flows from this woman. She shared about her weight struggle and self esteem issues and I just sat there thinking, “YOU are Sandi Patty, how could you possibly have self esteem issues?!” And yet, there it was, all over her testimony.. she was rejected for carrying extra weight, she ate to fill a void, she’s worked really hard to get the weight off… she’s just like me. Well, not just like me, ’cause there’s no way I can sing that crazy high!! But you know what I mean. I was so deeply ministered to by her. And she gave me goose pimples like 17 times during We Shall Behold Him.

Then today I was going through some emails that people who have been to Selah concerts have sent me and was realizing that the stuff that God has brought me through and continues to bring me through, is ministering to others. I know that, because you guys write me and tell me, but to experience it for myself in such a strong way was really humbling.

Thank you for reading my blog. Thank you for praying for me. Thank you for reminding me that everything I do is for the kingdom and not for my own glory. It is my prayer that as I continue this journey and keep moving forward to my goal, that you might be touched. And then you would in turn, touch others’ lives and it’s just one big domino effect of lives being touched.

Having such a sweet network of people to help me through this process has been so encouraging to me. So thank you.

Really, thank you.

btw.. I’m on the reset again, and I’m not sure how long. Cyndi and I got to spend some much needed time together at Women of Faith and she’s helping through this whole tour thing. Plus, did you know it’s been almost a year? I started this diet thinking, “I can do anything for 3 months,” And it’s been 11. I need a break. But I’m not quitting. Just refocusing and taking time to pause.



The Bus

March 16, 2011

Last weekend began the Compassion International tour that Selah is a part of, along with Aaron Shust and Shaun Groves. Before I got to rehearsal on Thursday afternoon, I had never met either one of them. One never knows what to expect when getting on a bus full of boys. That’s right, I’m the only girl. The boys from Selah, Aaron and his band, Shaun, and every single crew member are all boys and I gotta be honest with you, I don’t hate it. I’ve always gotten along better with boys than girls. I’m not sure why. The one major problem with being on a bus full of boys:

They eat.

And eat.

And EAT.

I was totally unprepared; like a poor wimp going into battle without a piece of armor. I don’t know what I was thinking. I didn’t bring fresh fruit, fat free salad dressings, sugar free drinks. I just happily climbed on the bus without a thought to what I would eat over the weekend.

I ate crap.

I didn’t mean to. The catering was amazing, there were turkey dinners, taco buffets, soups, sandwiches, and more desserts than I could have imagined. The food was great, but not for me. Then there’s “bus food” after the show. I remember this, now, from the Avalon tour. The road manager orders a bunch of food to be on the bus waiting for us when we get on because we’re usually exhausted and starving. OH, the bus food; cheeseburgers, pizza, appetizers, pizza, cookies, pizza. Did I mention pizza? My irresistible trigger food.. pizza.

I would love to say that I wasn’t tempted. I would love to say that I sat there eating an apple while everyone indulged. I would love to say that I the food didn’t even appeal to me. I would love to say that I tried really hard to resist. But I would be lying.

I ate. And then I felt guilty.

Now, I didn’t eat everything, all the time. And I didn’t pig out. But I’m supposed to be on the protocol, that’s 2 portions of fruits, veggies and lean protein a day. That means no pizza, no burgers, no onion rings, which by the way made me sick. And why wouldn’t they? I haven’t eaten an onion ring in almost a year! It was like the cruise all over again, except this time I was on drops.

So, all this to say, I’m not perfect and this journey gets harder and harder the closer I get to my goal. I was talking to Cyndi yesterday and I told her that being on the bus isn’t like going to a restaurant one time and fighting the temptation and then being okay afterward. It’s like having a smorgasbord of food at your fingertips and trying to fight the temptation 4, 5, 6 times a day. And I love Cyndi’s response, “This is time where you have to fight it 10 times a day if that’s what it takes.” So, we spent some time going over an action plan for me for the next few weekends that I’m on the bus. We go back on tour the weekend of the 25th and are out again the next weekend at a Women of Faith event (Thank God Cyndi will be there!!) then out the next weekend on the bus.

Crazy schedule.

But I’m learning when I go in totally unprepared, that’s when I make the most mistakes; kind of like everything else in life, huh? Imagine if David didn’t have his slingshot and stones? This journey isn’t physical for me anymore, I’m not even sure it ever was. I feel great, I love my size right now. I’m very comfortable in my size 16. But I’m still over 200 pounds, and that’s not healthy; that’s not my goal. These last pounds are going to definitely be about putting my flesh away and re-learning how to say NO again.

I made a commitment to the Lord that I was going to lose 100 pounds and that I was going to finally let Him help me. I still want to reach that goal and it’s so close. So here I go again.

p.s. If any of you travel a lot and have any good tips on how to resist tempting food while out on the road, I’d love the help!